What should I do? Suffering...

Today, when I was woke up 

I realize she didn't replied me :( 

So, it is gonna to ask you give up? 

Sigh~ I have no answer, 

what should I do now? Give up? 

But I haven't told her something yet...

arh~ suffer....

you actually is love her 

but you always not trying to show 

or pretending its really suffering....

and you will afraid sometimes will been taken from others... Damn it~ I hate it :(

Inside my heart

After a long period ago, 

I has came back here my dusty dayre blog.

I think here is the best way can let me express 

my feelings...recently I'm stressed, 

I'm stressing my study and someone who I liked...

I feel want to confession to her but I'm afraid...

I miss you but I'm trying not to care, 

I love you but I'm trying not to show...

actually I just want to know the answer that how your feeling with me :'(

Hello my dusty blogger~

Recently just finished year 2 first sem exam and then now is holiday...

Holiday is damn boring :(

Very very bored + decadent ~

Sigh~

Some times really need someone who can lend me her shoulder~

I'm very tired of the journey of Lone Ranger ~

I just hope someone can talk to...

I just hope someone can accompany :)

Is that hard?

Hmmm....I just can say whatever will be will be :D

This is Life...

Feeling glad,
I'm lucky to have good teachers
no matter is in education or dance
because have their help.

They help me
make my path easier
make my path wonderful
make my path less block
achieve my dream path
thanks the opportunity,
thanks,god bless...

Nowadays,
I'm quite busy
totally didn't rest well
totally tired like hell
almost sick....

My schedule is damn full,
I have no time to relax
I'm so long didn't watch movie already
watch movie is my favourite :(

and no one can accompany me to watch movie
it's sad...when I wanted to watch
but I don't know want to find who...

I hope the person that
appear in my world
appear in my life
I'm tired...
I need you...
to lend me your shoulder or arm
I want to lye on you...

are you nearest with me?
are you far from me?
are you coming to me ?
are you side of me?
where are you?

I'm...lost...

Hmmm... May I have it ?

Since my blog become dusty already...
recently no time to touch...
busy on assignment...
busy on practice....
dancing...

but still got think about here...
because I have many memories in here...
I write what I feel at here...
I write what I like or dislike at here...
just for vent, and I will very comfortable after I write....

So busy...
and wanted someone can take care of me...
I scare sick...
need more concern...
to feel happiness...

I'm curios...
may I know your last name ?
hmmm....
may I have it?

Glad that have you all...

I glad to have this family

LnG dance club...

this place make me have

a lots of memories...

the thing that can't buy...

it's memories...

with you all...

I think I won't forgot everything in 

this dance club...

it's was very treasure...

Inside I have met a lots of friends...

we play together,

we dance together,

we eat together,

we strive together,

we bullshit together,

and we cry together...

inside have a lots of crazy,

mad and prevent people... hoho

(hope them won't see my blog )

Inside I have three granddaughter also,

they call me "Ah Gong"

they's very annoying,

always and always...

bully me~haha

but they's cute 

I like them so much...

they will accompany when I'm emo,

or I'm alone...

I think this is fate...

the fate bring me into this family,

give me happiness...

bring me to met them...

 let me have a lots of memories...

in my college life...

makes my life more meaningful :)

Thanks you all...

and love you all~

Lost something confidence...

Argh...
I hating myself...
hate my self can't doing well...
why...
sigh...

Even is my strong section...
I also can't done well...
what happen to me?
what I'm doing ?

Janez jiayou...
I believe I can do it,
do well...
trust yourself...
be confidence...

Six pack also can make it already...
why those thing you can't do it?
yes...
I can...
sure can...

Jiayou,don't give up...
use your perseverance...
and strive...
I believe in the short time...
you sure can do it...
10days left...
add oil :)
I will use my best status...
and performance the best show to all audience...

Fighting!!!
DOPE!!!

I need your love :'(

I take a deep breath every time I pass your door
I know you're there but I can't see you anymore
And that's the reason you're in the dark
I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart
And I feel so helplessly
Watch my eyes are filled with fear
Tell me do you feel the same
Hold me in your arms again
I need your love
I need your time

Now I'm dreaming, will ever find you now?
I walk in circles but I'll never figure out
What I mean to you, do I belong
I try to fight this but I know I'm not that strong

All the years
All the times
You have never been to blame
And now my eyes are open
And now my heart is closing
All the lies
All the waste...

Stay strong...

Recently,quite busy...
I'm busy for my study...
training and dancing...
I just left those thing...
if not I'm nothing...

everyday, I practice...
and practicing my self...
just because success...
it's my target...

something that I know...
if you have the way to walk,
but you didn't do or strive for...
it's just nothing....
just like a dust...

"practice make perfect"
I believe this word...
it's works for me...
I always tell myself...
practice practice practice...
get better and better...
don't give up :)

Every time I strive,and  I see back my effort...
that I only know,only myself know my effort...
what I strive for ?
where's my power?

The person who I like...
although she just like in my dream...
the dream that I can't realize...

Something that I know,
it's your then it will be yours...
it's not your,how you impose
at last also will gone...

I miss you...
but I have no reason to find you...
I'm also scare that you'll ignore me...
actually I know you're voiding me :(
sorry about that,I know I'm annoying...
I just need your sight...

It's me, a simple Janez

                                              The part of random moment in my dance...

Yea..I'm a person who love dancing...
especially is break dance...
only in bboying,
I can find myself.
when I'm bboying,
I can feel my expression
I can feel my world
if not ,
I'm don't know what kind of person are me...
I maybe is a hopeless person without hope...
when I dance...
I have hope
I have target
so ,I make an effort for my hope and my target...
I have the way
and I know how to walk it...
that's why I'm not easily giving up...

sometime,I'm alone
sometime,I'm talkless
sometime,I'm emo
It's just don't want to talk much...
and I like silence...
because I know something you talk much also useless...
if the person know, it should be know what kind of person is you
and I won't talk much just want to treat people happy...
and also I wouldn't like to "talk cock" or something rubbish...
sometime joke it's okay...
because I feel it's nonsense...

If you want to know me
If you want to know my world
just told me...
because I'm the person who won't like to talk much
and the person who very shy
actually it's very simple...
when you know me...

I'm not own-self...

Feeling incomplete...
I can't found out the answer...
need someone to help me complete...
my world...

our laughter is being freeze in the past...

sometime I also don't know...
my feeling...
what is my feeling...
which path is right...
which path is wrong...
I hope that I took the right one...

I wanted to give up...
and try again...
but...
I was tired...
I'm lazy already...
so now,stuck there...

In the half way...
Incomplete...

actually I should try others?
should not stuck there?
please give me the right path...

should I give up?
don't chase already?
find others?
try others?

I hate myself :(
like a robot in other side...
hate myself don't have the energy...
I really don't have power already...

Obsess ~

Hi,peace...
I'm tired...
tired to explain...
if you know me,
I don't need to explain much...
if you don't know me,
then just forget it...

I'm very like her...
but I helpless...
I don't how she feel...

when she ignore me,
my feeling is very shit...

yesterday my friend gift me a key chain,
that key chain write about "don't chase already".

Yea,that's right...
should I don't chase ?
I'm tired...
I'm really hate people ignore me...
every time like I'm invisible :'(
I'm because of you,
I be initiative...
just because I really like you...

but I even haven't start said want to chase her...
I wanted,but I didn't do :(
did I try first before give up ?
I don't afraid to fail,
I afraid I didn't try...
should I?

It's Fucking feeling...

Missing you...

sometime...
I just need accompany...
it just when I'm feeling lonely,
or bored...
someone can talk with me...
sigh...

is that I'm look scary?
is that I'm look horror?
is that I'm look terror?

I know I'm a bad guy :(

hmmmm....
sometime really...
will keep think about you...
even how busy...
my mind also will think about you...
really miss you badly :(

I'm afraid to find you~

Where's you...im tired.

I have a confusing mood...
I have a always ignore by others...
And I have no direction...
Wanted someone can be my power
Wanted someone can manage me
But.....

The one I like don't like me...
No one like me....
Wanted someone to like...
No wonder how are you...
Just good enough...

It's also need feeling...
If no also didn't work...

Everyday...
I wanted have someone can talk with me
Accompany me to chat...
Talk about life...
Share something together...

But no...
Really really feeling lonely...
Hope have a  person can hold my hand
And get out the hole...

I hope have a person can make my world complete
I hope have a person can make my world beautiful
I hope have a person can make my world brighter
I hope have a person can talk about my world and her world...

Customrily...

Finally,
I can back my home...
must rest enough...
tired life...
make me tired...

maybe is me customrily independent...
customrily alone...
customrily....

now feel...really tired of my life...
I'm a insecure children...
no people care...
do what I want...
sometimes really hope,
have someone can care about me...
take care about me...
know me or understand me...

sometime want to vent...
but who can listen?

today I'm surprise...
someone call me...
care about me...
haha~by the way
really very thanks...
let me feel conciliative...
: P

sorry ar...
yesterday went to pavilion,
wanted to buy unicorn for you...
but all minion and unicorn doll
have been sold out already :(
feeling guilty...

only you will accompany me...
only you will chat with me...
thanks you didn't ignore me :')
I'm actually touching...
give you a hug xD
haha...

I'm sorry I did...

I'm conciliative...

cause of your message...

it's a motive...

that can make me feel...

still got someone care...

always and always...

I hope someone can care about me...

know my exist...

I know I'm very tiny...

but I still need someone,

accompany me...

talk to me...

when I needed...

I know you are seen my inbox message...

I'm waiting the answer...

because...

I want to know...

then I can know which path,

which way I should do...

I should walk...

If not...

I'm very confuse...

and complicated...

cause I don't know your mind...

your answer...

if can...

you can told me the true...

I can accept...

I can understand...

If I din't tell you my heart...

my mind...

that I like you...

I will feel very uncomfortable...

so...that why I told you...

I hope you can also,

tell me your mind...

and the true...

however the answer...

at least I know...

I really hope that, 

I can share with you my story...

my unhappy...all of my thing...

you can tell me your unhappy or other thing...

if you want...

btw thanks you...

and I miss you badly...

A Clown behind story

I'm a clown...

in front you all,

I'm a clown...

I can make all of you happy...

I can make all of you smile...

but when everyone are leave...

but when everybody are back...

me are still nothing...

me are still alone...

when I take off my clown mask,

back into my space...

behind I'm still alone...

behind I'm still nothing...

sometimes...

I really want to tell someone about my thing...

I wanted to share about me and my mind...

but who can...

I also need someone to know me...

and understand me...

:(

Sigh...

I hope in front you all,

I can be a clown...

but when I take off my clown mask...

behind me,

have someone care about me...

know about me...

can let me feel I'm no alone...

and hope someone can said...

"Janez you still got me "

or accompany me...

that's enough...

Maybe infront you all I'm strong...

but actually I'm not you think that strong...

I'm weak...just pretend to stay strong...

If I not stay strong,weak for who see?

The favorite one

Well,the one my favorite is you :)
sorry...
I shouldn't let you  know...
but if I keep it inside...
I'll feel very uncomfortable...

So...
I should let you know my mind...
don't let you misunderstanding...
cause I really like you so much...
you can view my blog here
some post are writing about you :P

Sorry,I have no reason to tell you
why I like you...
I also don't know how to explain...
I think it's feeling...
no reason....
if have reason that is lie...

actually I just wanna to told you only
don't have any meaning...
I just want let you know...
because I keep it inside
very uncomfortable...

I hope this won't influence our friendship :(
we still is friend right?
I don't want because of this...
then lost you...

JOAH~

What would you say?

Seriously,
If I date you,
What would you say?
What is your answer?

Should I try?
should let you know my mind?
or let you view my blog?
I really want to know your mind...

I really like you so much...

Can I know your feel from me?
In my mind have many questions...
Want to ask you...

Everytime I care about all your status...
Everytime I want to find you but...
Always and always afraid...
Always afraid will annoying you...

I always take the risk to find you...
I always will think very long the problem
Should I find you or not…can I?

I really want to share with you my thing
And talking with you...

Did you know when I was message with you
I was very happy...
I also afraid to lost you
So I don't dare to close you or keep find you...
But I can't control... still wanted to find you: (

Can you give me a chance to take care about you?
I wanna be with you... always accompany you
When you need me...

Complicated...

I'm very complicated...
please give me some advise...
which way
which path
should I walk?

Just like a mutliple choice
and always and always...
I don't know how to choose
I will use more time to think
thinking which one should I choose...
but at last...
always no result...
and the result was...
just guess ~_~

Sigh~

My life
My way
please give me a clear answer...
I want to move forward...
I don't want just stay there...
I need to improve
and improve...

but I can see self improve...
just the target...
not sure...
Give me a right path,
and bring me...
look for the right path to walk
and look for the right one...